Days 76-78: And Back in Again . . .

Friday afternoon, the admitting department called to tell me I would be getting a call on Sunday night with my bed assignment for Monday, and what time I would need to be at the hospital.  There was a chance that it would be pushed off until Tuesday, pending new Leukemia admissions.  So I spent Saturday packing up all of my accumulated “stuff” from three weeks in the hotel, still having a lot of what was with me from the two months in the hospital, as well.

So, got all of my stuff schlepped back to the house (thank you, Bill!), and waited for the phone call Sunday night.  And waited.  Waiiiiited…. Finally, at 9:30 PM I called the admitting department.  Turns out they did not have any beds available.  I was told they would call me in the morning to update me, and that my admission would likely be Tuesday.  So, cancelled my vacation day from work on Monday, got up at 5am to pack up last bit of stuff in the hotel, check out, and drive to my house to get clothes to wear to work… and went to the office.  Got there at 8:00 am.  At 8:50, I get a call from admissions.  They had a bed ready right then.  GRRRRRR.  By that point, I was involved in a project, so finished that up and left to go to the hospital around lunchtime.

Monday was really just a waiting day all around.  I waited for the call for the room assignment, then when I got to the hospital, there was so much debate about whether to give me a peripheral IV line or a pic line, that by the time they decided on the peripheral IV, it was too late for the pharmacy to mix up my chemotherapy.  So I got a night of relaxation  in the hospital (really?), and time to unpack and settle in.

Tuesday was a little more of a fire drill.  Labs, premeds, and prepping for chemo.  We were supposed to get started around 10:30, but out of the blue, transport shows up to take me for an echocardiogram.  I wasn’t even told that one was ordered.  So down I go.  Procedure was supposed to be 20 minutes, it took over an hour.  The technician had trouble getting clear images of the heart wall.  As it turns out, there has been some damage to the heart function from the chemotherapy.

Back upstairs, had to change gowns and get washed up from all of the ultrasound gel, and then was premedicated for chemotherapy around 12:30.  Chemo at 1:30.  And so it began.  Took about 3 1/2 hours.  Then a rest until 1:30 am, when the next bag was hung.

Wednesday was more waiting, and a day of rest from treatment.  Next two bags are at 1:30 pm and 1:30 am Thursday/Friday.

Not very exciting.  Already feeling effects of the treatment.  I am nauseous, and my hands have the rash/burns that I get when on Cytarabine.  A common side effect.  With this regimen (called HiDAC), neurological abnormalities can occur, so I have to do a test every morning to make sure I am not showing any signs of complications.  Appetite is diminishing already, and feeling the familiar “I only want carbs” feeling.  Trying to eat as healthy as I can for as long as I can manage.

Have had a tough time this go around, even though it is supposed to be a short stay, and is a maintenance therapy rather than induction.  But mentally and emotionally, I have been down in the gutter feeling very alone.  Quite unusual for me.  But I am just letting myself feel those feelings and not making any apologies, selfish as that may seem.  My body has to deal with this in whatever way it can.  I won’t hold it back.  Alone or not, I will deal with this.  And channel my inner rock star.

So What, P!NK