I ended last night waiting for the cat scan of the lungs. They finally took me down at about 12:30 am. Arrgh…. Thankfully, the results showed that there were no blood clots in my lungs. A very good thing. My nurse and I noticed a trend (the benefit of having the same nurse most of the week), when my hemoglobin drops below 8, I get short of breath. And today, my hemoglobin was 7.7, necessitating a transfusion. Once the blood was tranfused, I began to feel much better. The doctor still ordered a 2D echo for this afternoon, just to make sure the heart was clear and, like the EKG, I had no doubts. It really was the breathing, but nothing serious.
I dialed in to my boss’ weekly staff meeting this morning, and I have to tell you – what a lift to my spirits. How therapeutic to forget all of the medical “stuff” surrounding me, and escape back to my normal life for an hour and a half. I really needed that. I also was able to get a little bit of homework done this afternoon, and took one online exam for my IT project management class. I’m finding that, as much as I can keep the mind sharp while I’m in here, the better equipped I am to handle all that comes my way. And it reminds me that I have a life outside these hospital walls that I need to get back to. Soon!!
Around dinnertime, mom came to visit and brought a treat . . . homemade chocolate chip cookies from a coworker at my office. What a sweet gesture (quite literally!). Had a good visit with mom, and then settled in to try and relax a bit. Was beginning to feel tired, and a bit weak. Decided to do something good for the soul…. have a girl night. Do my nails, watch a ‘chick flick’ and maybe indulge in a chocolate chip cookie or two with a cup of tea.
I opted for something light, Legally Blonde. Cute, funny, didn’t require a lot of emotional investment or focus. Painted my nails green in anticipation of St. Patrick’s Day, and managed to polish off… ahem…three… cookies (P.H., I WANT that recipe!!), and shared one with my nurse. 🙂
About half an hour later, the mild pain in my stomach that I had all day began to get much worse. With it, came uncontrollable chills and weakness. The chemo effects were starting to finally hit me. By 9:00pm, that pain was excruciating. And the reality of what I was going through began to play with my emotions.
Night times are the hardest. Visitors are long gone, and the nurses generally don’t come in unless you require medication or call for something specific. All is quiet, and there is way too much time to think. Add to that the pain I was experiencing, and my positive attitude took a big hit. I was lonely, and more than a bit scared.
My nurse came in, and gave me medication for the stomach pain, which had reached about an 8 out of 10 on the pain scale. Thank God for Percocet. It’s starting to kick in and take the edge off the stomach pain.
In the midst of my melancholy, I’m at least able to celebrate one milestone: the hanging of my last bag of the Cytarabine (chemo). Bag number 7 out of 7. In about 24 hours, I’ll be done with the Induction Chemotherapy… and on to the next stage in my Leukemia journey.
Song of the day: The Final Countdown, Europe
The Road Less Traveled 
Thinking of you this Irish day. Yea on 7 of 7! Can they make it green for you? Here is a good middle of the night website: TED.com (“Ideas Worth Spreading: Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world:) Some cool stuff, all short and to the point – maybe 15-20 minutes or about, some really fascinating stuff (but you prob already have seen this?) Anyway, when I have insomnia tonight, I will think of you while I try to distract my brain with TED. erin goes braless, have a good night!
Meg, you are the best. Actually, a coworker told me about TED a few days ago. Erin go braless??? Really?!?! LOL!