Yesterday I was diagnosed with AML Leukemia. Today begins my fight. Prayers, positive thoughts and all the support you can muster are much appreciated. Will be blogging through this, to keep you all updated, and to keep me sane.
Day 1, 7:30 AM
Barely awake, last night was a long night after being transferred to the Cancer Institute of NJ (CINJ). The staff has been incredibly supportive, and have been doing all they can to get me settled and answer questions. Plan of the day is to prep me for chemo treatments, possibly starting this afternoon.
7:50 AM
Holy cow do they move fast around here. I’m getting a triple lumen central line inserted in my neck so that they don’t have to keep sticking me everytime blood is needed (multiple times per day). This will also give the chemo a place to be administered. Frankenstein, anyone? Feeling overwhelmed by my diagnosis.
9:18 AM
Central line inserted. My neck will be green for two days from the cleanser they used to scrub and sterilize my neck with. Red hair, green neck, thing dangling out of my neck… Hm… maybe I could pass for Fiona.
Feeling a little weary.
10:00-ish
Back upstairs in my room. They need to repeat the bone marrow biopsy, in order to confirm the diagnosis and make sure they give me the most targeted chemo / treatment possible. So no chemo starting today… BUT… I get to have a doctor stick a hollow needle in my arse again to suck out my bone marrow. Arrrgh. The first time hurt so much, I don’t know how I’m going to stand the second one.
Sometime later in the day
So, I asked for pain medication before the biopsy. Dr. Alex (still cannot pronounce his last name) prescribed Morphine. Hm… a little much, but hey I’ll take it. Unfortunately, the administering nurse pushed it all at once through my newly-installed central line. Aaaaanndd… I got nauseous. Like, I-think-an-alien-is-going-to-climb-out-of-my-stomach, nauseous. And then started getting hot flashes. Next thing I know, I’m dreaming and Dr. Alex is waking me up asking if I’m okay. (Thinking to myself, well nooo… I was having a really good dream and you ruined it!) Long story short, I went unconscious from the morphine being pushed too fast. My heart rate and blood pressure dropped and I was out for the count. They stabilized me, and gave me oxygen and a ton of fluids (I swear I’ve gained 10 pounds in water weight since coming here), and then Dr. Alex went on with the procedure.
It was just as hard to tolerate as the first biopsy. It was tolerable while the needle was inserted into the bone, but when he started to draw out the aspirate I nearly shot through the roof. Good grief, it’s a good thing I remember my Lamaze breathing. The part that nearly had me down for the count was when he had to get the actual marrow. I could feel everything he did in every nerve from my butt to my foot, all the way down my leg. I was in agony. He kept saying, “I’ll stop and let you rest,” and I said no way. Just keep going and get it done.
Got through the biopsy, and was pretty whipped afterward. Results would take a couple of days, and the waiting began… again.
My oncologist came in later that evening to formally introduce himself, review my diagnosis and history, discuss the plan of attack and answer any questions. I came away from that conversation with two key phrases that Dr. D. shared:
1. 70% of cases are cured after the first round of chemotherapy (induction chemo)
2. This is curable.
Okay, doctors don’t give definitive answers unless they are certain. So those odds are sounding pretty good to me. And THAT’S what I’m holding on to tonight.
End of Day 1, sometime just before midnight:
Words cannot adequately express my thanks to all of you for the huge outpouring of love and support. I had no clue how big my support network was, every single one of you has made a positive impact on my life, and are partners with me in this fight. A very close friend said it really well a couple of days ago, “this is just a maintenance plan.” how true! This is just something I have to to maintain my health and I will conquer and move on. So tonight, as I fall asleep at the end of day 1, this warrior is thinking of all of her team mates…with a full heart and a gentle smile.
The Road Less Traveled 
Wow. Just, wow.
You’re an inspiration, you know. It’s the rare person who will ever let others into the inner thoughts, and here you are, doing it with every word. I’m just amazed.
Thanks, My friend. Way I see it, if what I’m going through can help one person find it less scary themselves, it’s worth it. Plus… it truly helps me to vent, get it all out there, while I just sit here all day getting pumped full of medicine. And I finally get to play with WordPress… only a YEAR after your class. 😉 Cheers. TB
I love your positive energy and outlook on your situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you so keep all that motivational mojo coming and keep us posted on your progress.
Thanks Superdave. You have some powerfully strong mojo, if you loan me even a tenth of it, I’ll be healed in no time.
Tammy
We all miss you and our prayers are with you. Get well soon. Never feel you can’t come to any of us for anything
S
Thanks so much, S. You have been an amazing help and medical resource already. I’m one lucky girl.
Tammy,
Your stories have always been an inspiration to me since the day I met you 4 years ago! As many of us have said, you have a fighting spirit and you will win this challenge, too. Like Steve said, you can reach out to us for anything.
Thanks so much, Stacey. I will never forget my early days with the company, and how you stuck by me and encouraged me when the going got tough. Sending you a big hug.
Tammy, we are certainly praying for you and the rest of the family! I cannot imagine how hard this has been but I can give great advice on which pain meds have worked well for me! Love from all your PA kinfolk!
Lol!! Thanks, Jeni! I’m ready for a quiet PA vacation now! And your cousin even more so. He’s a real trooper in all this.
Ian and I are going to remind you every day how much we love you Tammy!
No, the doctors come to your room so often because you are an inspiration to them. And to all of us. Such a positive attitude to deal with such a scary diagnosis. You are an inspiration.!!
So I came up with a stellar idea that I thought you’d appreciate. Mark clearly has enough chest hair to spare so perhaps he can fashion a cute little beanie out of it to keep your head warm! I mean, it’s creative and environmentally friendly!
You’re such an inspiration. I love you and miss you and know that you’re going to beat this! Xoxo