Today marks the first of the three year anniversaries. Three years ago today, I went for a lunchtime run with my friend, Amy. I could only go half a mile, before feeling like I was going to collapse. Little did I know that I had just stepped into the journey of a lifetime. It is... Continue Reading →
Day +421: Here we go again . . .
I have mentioned before that I love roller-coasters, but I am not a fan of the recovery roller-coaster that I am on. I am now, as of last night, on my third inpatient tour of the hospital this year. May: Blood clot in my femoral vein July: Fever, weakness, chills, sinus congestion (never found root... Continue Reading →
Day +360: The Power of Letting Go
The last three and a half months have been a roller coaster of events, emotions, health challenges, and breakthroughs. Early on in my diagnosis, someone told me that my cancer journey would be more mental than physical. Truer words were never spoken. April: Going Up The beginning of April found me in a very good... Continue Reading →
Day +255: The “Little Big” Moments
This time last year, my mom visited me at the hospital, armed with two baskets and a shopping bag full of candy and toys. We spent the next hour putting together Easter Baskets for my two boys, since I wasn't home to do it myself. I could not explain to her just how much that... Continue Reading →
Day +180: The (wo)Man in the Mirror
I heard the Michael Jackson song, "Man in the Mirror" this morning as I drove to work. Nothing really struck me about the song at the time, just a nod to my 80's teen years. However, when I went to the ladies' room around lunchtime, I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror, and... Continue Reading →
Day +1: The Itching
The itching is driving me insane. My hands, my abdomen, my chest. Alternating with burning up like I'm on fire, yet I have no fever. I can't take much more of this. I'm assuming that this is graft vs host disease, and not sure what more they can do beyond the current standing meds. Here... Continue Reading →
Day minus 1 (D-1): Mashed Potatoes, the Remote Control, and my last night as “me”
So I've been sitting with my laptop in front of me all day - one window open to this post. The blank page. I have a dozen things I of which I could write spanning the last week in the hospital. Btw, can you believe it has been a full week? I mean - really... Continue Reading →
Days 76-78: And Back in Again . . .
Friday afternoon, the admitting department called to tell me I would be getting a call on Sunday night with my bed assignment for Monday, and what time I would need to be at the hospital. There was a chance that it would be pushed off until Tuesday, pending new Leukemia admissions. So I spent Saturday... Continue Reading →
Weeks 9-11: The Outside
Three weeks have passed since I was discharged from the hospital. I returned to work that Monday morning, more than a little anxious. Putting on "real clothes" was fantastic. While it was sooner than I really wanted to go back, in order to maximize my remaining disability benefits. Honestly, it was good to go back.... Continue Reading →
Days 39 – 46: Wow, What a Ride
For as long as I can remember, I have been a fan of roller coasters. There is something insanely scary and simultaneously thrilling about the rush one gets when propelled at speeds up to 130 MPH, while pulling multiple negative g's that just...well...makes me smile. 🙂 This past September, I had an opportunity to crew... Continue Reading →
Days 29-38: The Kitchen Sink
When I was in high school, there was an ice cream parlor/ restaurant in Union, NJ named Jahn's. A bunch of my friends and I would go there to hang out often after church activities. I can't begin to tell you how many stories I have of our times at Jahn's. And probably as many... Continue Reading →
Day 25: The Land of the Living
The last time I was able to blog, I mentioned that I was waiting for the results of the biopsy on Tuesday (Day 21 post diagnosis). The results came back inconclusive, with not enough cells to be able to analyze. A repeat bone marrow biopsy is scheduled for this Monday afternoon, thankfully under anesthesia again.... Continue Reading →
Day 12, Part 2: A Spoonful of Sugar
Have I got you singing the rest of the song? Earlier today, I determined to try to get myself to a better-feeling place. And, as I close out the night and get ready to go to sleep, my heart and mind are at peace again. I am continually amazed at the power of the mind,... Continue Reading →
Day 12, Part 1: Girl on a Mission
6:30 am: Woke up so cranky. Don't think Ambien agrees with me. Took forever to get to sleep, though I think this was more due to the ultimately anti-climactic countdown to the end of chemo (although, thank you to JK for toasting my milestone with a shot of tequila!). Had an awful nurse last night,... Continue Reading →
Day 7: ‘Twas Bound to Happen
I woke up decidedly melancholy this morning. I underestimated just how upsetting cutting all of my hair off would be to me. Like Sampson in Biblical times, whose strength was in his hair, I felt that all my femininity was in my long, red tresses. To say that I shed a few tears would be... Continue Reading →
The Road Less Traveled 