Feeling strangely down in the dumps today, on a day that I have literally been waiting for… building up to, for a year. I have a whiteboard at work, and a co-worker/friend started counting towards day 100 last fall. I came in one morning to “Congratulations on Day __” and it was regularly updated for a while. When that one friend stopped, another took up the task. But today it went unchanged. For some reason (and unbeknownst to anyone else) that board has become symbolic to me, a silent daily reminder that I’m still here… beating the odds. Unable to look at the unchanged date on it today, and not having the heart to update it, I erased the whole board.
I have no clue why I’m feeling like this and, quite honestly, not up to the task of analyzing it now. This is one of those moments when you will have to bear with me. We all deal with our cancer journeys in a different way. None of them is wrong. None of them is right. We just do what we need to to get through each day with as much grace as possible. And that is perfectly okay.
Really, when you get down to it, today is just another day. I woke up, I went to work, came home, went to dinner with my husband, and now I’m going to do homework for school. I survived a year post-transplant. Happy Birthday, me.
Through My Sails, Neil Young
The Road Less Traveled 
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